Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Class started before I got here.
Teacher: Glen, why do you get so dirty?
Glen: I'm a lot closed to the ground than you are.
Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to; my mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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