Merry Christmas 2013!

 Wishing you, your family and friends a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May all your holidays be happy and may you have a year blessed with joy, love, and abundance.

Christmas In Dixie

Famous Failures

Christmas Gift Idea

One year while I was married, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas present...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's when the fight started.

Cooking Potatoes

A caring husband sees that his wife is busy in the kitchen and offers to help.

Husband: “My dear, what can I do to help you?” 

Wife: “Take this bag of potatoes, peel half of them, and put them in the big pot to cook.”

Christmas Eve Creamy Crockpot Hot Chocolate

Combine the following ingredients in your crockpot

 1.5 cups heavy cream

1 can of sweetened condensed milk (14oz)

 2 cups milk chocolate chips

6 cups of milk

1 tsp vanilla extract.

The First Thanksgiving

"The First Thanksgiving" by Jennie Augusta Brownscombe (1850-1936). 

Thanksgiving Day 2013

Hope everyone has had a very happy and safe Thanksgiving spending time with those you love. 

Headed South

Abraham Lincoln's 1863 Thanksgiving Proclamation

By the President of the United States of America.

A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added which are of so extraordinary a nature that they can not fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever-watchful providence of Almighty God.

In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere, except in the theater of military conflict, while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union.

Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship; the ax has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well as the iron and coal as of our precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege, and the battlefield, and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens.

And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the imposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the divine purpose, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the Unites States the Eighty-eighth.

By the President: Abraham Lincoln

William H. Seward,

Secretary of State

Zombie Thanksgiving

Household Cleaning Calendar

This calendar is handy for helping a batchelor or even a housewife or working mom keep up with housework. It is easy to follow and doesn't leave you overloaded with work on one day. 

Iced Pecans

Ingredients 

3 cups pecan halves 

1 cup white granulated sugar 

Small pinch of salt 

8 Tbsp. butter or margarine (1 stick) 

1 tsp. vanilla 

Line a baking sheet with foil. Lightly spray with cooking spray, and set aside. 

In a heavy skillet, use a wooden spoon to combine pecans, sugar, pinch of salt and margarine. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, for 9 minutes. Sugar will melt and turn a rich brown color. Watch out for spatters. 

Remove from heat and immediately stir in vanilla extract. The vanilla extract being stirred into the hot pecan mixture will make your kitchen smell delicious! Be careful - the pan will be very hot. 

Spread mixture onto the prepared baking sheet and VERY LIGHTLY sprinkle with salt right away while they're still hot (optional). This tiny touch of salt balances out the sweet, buttery, vanilla flavor. Using 2 forks, separate pecans quickly before they cool and stick together; allow to cool completely. 

Stored tightly covered, they will keep for 1-2 weeks. 

Notes: Use only stick margarine for this recipe to be its best. Soft margarine in a tub does not work in this recipe. 

While the pecans are cooling, fill the pan with hot, soapy water and let it sit for a few minutes. The pan should then be very easy to clean. 

Walnuts, almonds, peanuts or just about any other nut can be used in place of pecans. A (16 oz.) jar of lightly salted peanuts is the perfect amount for this recipe.

You can add a touch of cinnamon or cayenne pepper to this recipe. 

Mexican Pizza

Ingredients:

Approx 1/2 lb ground beef or ground turkey

1/2 TBSP taco seasoning

1/4-1/2 cup re fried beans

1/4-1/2 cup salsa ( jarred or homemade)

1/4-1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese (or your desired flavor)

2- 4in flour tortillas

your choice of toppings, ex: tomatoes, green onions, olives

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brown ground beef in skillet. Add in taco seasoning. Drain if needed. Spray baking sheet with non stick cooking spray. Lay one tortilla on sheet. Spread with beans, then, with meat. Cover with second tortilla. Bake for 10 minutes. Remove from oven. Spread top tortilla with salsa, then, top with cheese and desired toppings. Bake an additional 5-10 minutes or until cheese is melted completely. Cool slightly before cutting.

BUTTERFINGER FUDGE

3 cups candy corn

1 cup creamy peanut butter

1 can 14 oz condensed milk 

2 cups white chocolate chips

Hershey's chocolate baking melts for drizzling

Directions:

Line a 9x13 pan with foil and spray with cooking spray.

Pour in candy corn and peanut butter in a pan and heat on low.

Stirring occasionally.

When mixture looks like a cookie batter pour in condensed milk, stir.

When all mixed pour in white chocolate chips.

Stir until completely melted.

Pour into baking dish and refrigerate until completely cool.

Melt baking chips and drizzle over fudge.

Put back in fridge to let chocolate harden.

Makes 50 1 inch squares. 

Mugshots

I enjoy looking at mugshots online. Here are some of my favorites I found a few nights ago. 

Sloppy Joe Cornbread Bake

Ingredients:

PAM® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray

1 pound ground round beef (85% lean)

1 can (15 oz each) Manwich® Original Sloppy Joe Sauce

1 pkg (8.5 oz each) corn muffin mix

1/3 cup fat free milk

2 tablespoons Fleischmann's® Original Spread-tub, melted

1/4 cup Egg Beaters® Original

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 400°F. Spray 8 or 9-inch square baking dish or 2-quart casserole with cooking spray. Cook beef in large skillet over medium-high heat until crumbled and no longer pink; drain. Stir in Sloppy Joe sauce; heat until hot. Spoon into baking dish.

Meanwhile, stir together corn muffin mix, milk, Fleischmann's and Egg Beaters in medium bowl. Spoon and spread over hot beef mixture. Cornbread mixture may not cover the meat completely.

Bake 15 minutes or until golden brown and set.

Mini Meatloaves

Ingredients:

PAM® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray

1 pound ground round beef (85% lean)

1 can (8 oz each) Hunt's® Tomato Sauce-No Salt Added

1/4 cup Egg Beaters® Original

1/2 cup quick-cooking rolled oats

2 tablespoons (1/2 of 1-oz envelope) dry onion soup mix

1/4 cup Hunt's® Tomato Ketchup

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 375°F. Line shallow baking pan with aluminum foil; spray foil with cooking spray.

Mix beef, tomato sauce, Egg Beaters, oats and soup mix in large bowl until well blended. Shape into 4 mini meatloaves, about 4x3 inches; place in prepared pan. Spread ketchup evenly over tops of meatloaves.

Bake 25 minutes or until meatloaves are cooked through (160°F). Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

Thugs Go To Heaven

Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing dark hoodies, and sagging pants, arrive.

St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, "Wait here. I'll be right back."

St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance.

God says to Peter: "How many times do I have to tell you? You can't be 

judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back 

and let them in!"

St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. 

He returns to God's chambers and says, "Well, they're gone."

The guys wearing hoodies?" asked God.

"No. The Pearly Gates!

Cleaning Fruit

Ben Franklin's Daily Schedule

This is a great method to live by:

Glow In The Dark Bubbles

Welcome To Atlanta

Something Else To Worry About

Scientists have recently discovered a species of walking shark. 

Mr. Pot Head

Malpractice Suit

Starbucks Frappuccino

In a large pitcher, mix these ingredients:

10 cups coffee 

1/2 cup sugar 

1/2 cup brown sugar 

1/2 cup vanilla creamer

THE PEARLY GATES

Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing dark hoodies, and sagging pants, arrive.

St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, "Wait here. I'll be right back."

St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance.

God says to Peter: "How many times do I have to tell you? You can't be 

judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back 

and let them in!"

St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. 

He returns to God's chambers and says, "Well, they're gone."

The guys wearing hoodies?" asked God.

"No. The Pearly Gates!

Identical Twins

Watch Your Language

How Is Your View?

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean; she doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap." Her husband looks on, remaining silent. Every time her neighbor hangs her wash to dry, the young woman makes the same comments. A month later, the woman is surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and says to her husband: "Look, she's finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this? " The husband replies, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows." And so it is with life... What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look

Make Your Shot Count

Natural Remedies

Here is a graphic showing natural remedies, and the sicknesses that can be treated by each. 

Short Shorts Are Cute?

This picture was taken at a Walmart near my home. 

Taking It Easy

Chocolate Covered Bananas

Cut up banana slices, then put a layer of peanut butter between them. ( you can use Nutella or almond butter instead of peanut butter if desired.) Put them in the freezer for one hour. Cover them in melted chocolate and put them back in the freezer for another 2-3 hours. 

Blend 420

Introducing Marlboro Blend 420:

Vintage Advertisement

Confidence?

Louisiana Swamp Mosquito

This mosquito was photographed by a daring photographer deep in the swamps of Louisiana. 

Farmers Pond

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange, and lime trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and looks it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!' The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked..

Holding the bucket up, he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Some old men can still think fast !!! 

Roswell UFO Incident

I have been fascinated with UFOs since I was a child. Here is some Google art from the 66th anniversary of the Roswell UFO Incident on July 8, 2013. 

The Roswell UFO Incident occurred on July 8, 1947. 

Rumor has it that there are remains of the occupants of the alien spaceship in storage in a top secret government facility.